random shit...

so often..i've heard people go..'oh then i stopped caring' ... that it honestly has started scaring me now..and though it does not really matter of what the others think about me..or if they'll care long enough...the scariest part of the 'and i stopped caring saga..' is how many people did i stop caring for.. ? and worse.. what about the sheets of life i just cannot seem to tear off into oblivion.. is it weird for me to go back to a certain 2008 every once in a while..am i a stalker cause i somehow follow every bloody soul i met that fucking year..and with so many fucking emotions mixed in my mind like some weird cocktail i shoot up hitting right in my soul..i want them happy..i want them successful..but i cannot bloody cope up with the fact that the asses have rubbed off what is still a major part of my life.. i have seen people go..oh they left iita pehley ..the anger was okay then..but now...' FUCK..!! what has changed now.. ?? for my world still revolves around them stepping in.. and when they did..i remembering signing no contract that would ensure just 3 years of me stalking em...oh well i do remember a 'even death won't do us apart' ..so hell try killing me..i have certain notion of friendship...and i continue believing in the same..i friggin' want you here...why..?? cause u promised so..!! and hell you have every right to bloody ignore my ass off.. but then again..let us see who wins..
hell..i feel angry..and angry is good.. for i havn't been angry for so long now.. like some weird spirit has stayed on..and *ahem*..all i have had today was in the likes of thumbs up and coke..oh wait pepsi as well..anyway..who needs booze to fucking rant..but then excuse the grammar..cause hell i am pretty zonked up and sleepy.. -_-
anyway..HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE...*arrrrrrrrrgh*... it kills me when i see an aunty giving me a bad look in metro..bloody kills me when i feel a stranger thinks low of me..HOW CAN YOU GUYS NOT CARE..!! not complaining .. ! no sire.. you are the masters anyway.. but hmm..do not give me the shit..you hold the true silent pain of unspoken scourge..UP YOURS..!! you rationale asses..i've seen each one of you at your worst..heard you cry..and then heard you zombies abuse..and then heard people pass judgement.. and EACH BLOODY thing made me angry.. the anger stays on..i do not really remember the events..trust me..it is all so misted along with whatever emotions i would once feel..but your names.. dude..they bring up a storm..i am tired..TIRED of trying to hold upright in the stoic most posture and say i do not care what a certain someone miles away thinks of me.. but anyway..news..I DO CARE..!! and sheesh....may god bless you enough for you to care..not about me..not bout the past..it is gone..long gone..and your perfect asses will spoil my territory.. but may the lord bless you ..may you care about the present.. may god bless my soul for me to never go looking back at you guys..may i never hope you're fine.. but anyway.. stay happy..stay blessed.. rationale..arrghh..your world..your choice..may my guardian always bless me with a thousand more emotional storms.. for that is who i am.. and may i stay this way..forever and always..