Posting at 5:44 am.. Can it be anything but a mindless rant ;)

Umm..so it's going to be a long woeful tale of an average teenage drama-olic..anyway..the new college has been on for quite(weird how this word ALWAYS reminds me of this friend-enemy) ..oh yeah the new college has been on for quite a while and how do we say it..it's been Unami (the not sweet-not salty-not bitter-not sour-flavour)..or rather putting it like the German teacher..it's been SO-LA-LA..(way your hand in a frantic 50-50 action) ..
Umm..anyway more than anything else..it has been a learning experience..lesson no 1. Friends aren't forever.. Not to be taken in a wrong way..cause my friends are here to stay forever..but all that I meant was that life at one point does become 'I am all I have' affair..oh well ofcourse all my friends of life are here..but the one person I am needed to spend the most amount of time is   Strangely somebody I didn't ever acknowledge the existence of..ME..! anyway I have thus concluded that ME iq a nice person all in all..just a tad bit dramatic ..with all the drama constantly brewing up in Me's own mind..but then it's okay..I like her for that..also Me us trying to grow nails (see for you it's useless ..but for Me and me..it's a huge thing :p)
Lol..no I haven't gone bonkers..but then I have always been dramatic when it came to changes..and being thrown into a numb environment after all the warmth of Blue Bells and Miranda House..was a HUGE emotional setback..I swear I needed a friend like I never did..and since the only one who quite understood my 'drama' was my ownself ..I for a while had this weird sense of irritation at everything else..then it eventually got into me that I was a wannabe..'trying to fit in'..and the only one friend I thought I will stick to till I get over the hormonal turbulence was umm..to be fair over-burdened with the pomp I carry around..hence another lesson..2. People who care for you aren't 
Magicians ..give them a break..!
Anyway ..my bhabhi emerged out to be a HUGE support ..the one person I wanted to rush back to each day...I have fallen in love with her..and umm..guys.. I am just so proud of her that just the thought of her made me smile SO WIDE !
anyway my family touchwood is my life..and hence the storm gets it's peace the moment I think of them..and bhabhi is now a part of my special clan..
What next..oh yes..a lot of friends think I've been ignoring them..and weird is how I don't even feel like justifying my stand..it's like it somehow had become so numb on the emotional   Side that stuff had stopped disturbing..( the late night emotional outbursts continue..but then that's who I m ;) ) 
I do have grown fond of these two guys in class..and since acceptance has become something I don't even bother to look for now..I love the time I spend with them..like some moments actually feel warm enough to think about later..

It's weird cause hadn't talked to anybody for months now..'jobless' maybe my mind is..bit feels nice to let it out..I miss an integral part of who I am..what that part is..umm..I dunno..but I guess it is okay to live with a void..probably that is how life is for everybody else..maybe it all had come really late for me..maybe you are meant to live with boundaries..maybe you aren't meant to burden others with your thoughts..but I really don't think anybody's going to read this long an entry..and it feels really light to talk to nobody at all..oh yes..another lesson..3. Nobody has the time to decipher metaphors.. There never will be that one reader you've waited for so long..so you may for a while write and accept..your voice is meant to go unheard.. ;)