The Delicacy of Despair

Foie gras, French for "fatty liver", is made from the enlarged livers of male ducks and geese. Birds used for foie gras are kept in tiny wire cages or packed into sheds. Two or three times every day, up to 2 kilograms of grain and fat are pumped into the birds' stomachs through pipes that are shoved down their throats. This force-feeding causes the birds' livers to become diseased and swell to up to 10 times their normal size. Many birds become too sick to stand. The pipes sometimes puncture birds' throats, and the massive amount of food sometimes ruptures their stomachs and other internal organs.

Foie gras production is so cruel that it has been banned in 16 countries. In India, establishments such as the Four Seasons Kolkata, The Park Kolkata and Mumbai's Joss restaurant have written to PETA about their decision to stop serving this "delicacy of despair".

Please ask Taj and Oberoi to follow suit and immediately implement a policy against serving foie gras at all their hotels. Also, watch Hollywood actor Kate Winslet's video exposé revealing the cruelty behind foie gras production.

If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.
Paul McCartney





Please take action.. take out 2 minutes from your life to type in your email address and save thousands of innocent lives..
you can play a defining role.. please help them help life..

--CLICK HERE-- (this takes just 30 seconds for you to type and submit and ends an endless chain of cruelty and suffering..you can save lives..not everybody has that option .. please raise your voice.. we owe it to mother nature..


[MATTER TAKEN FROM PETA INDIA ]

Posting at 5:44 am.. Can it be anything but a mindless rant ;)

Umm..so it's going to be a long woeful tale of an average teenage drama-olic..anyway..the new college has been on for quite(weird how this word ALWAYS reminds me of this friend-enemy) ..oh yeah the new college has been on for quite a while and how do we say it..it's been Unami (the not sweet-not salty-not bitter-not sour-flavour)..or rather putting it like the German teacher..it's been SO-LA-LA..(way your hand in a frantic 50-50 action) ..
Umm..anyway more than anything else..it has been a learning experience..lesson no 1. Friends aren't forever.. Not to be taken in a wrong way..cause my friends are here to stay forever..but all that I meant was that life at one point does become 'I am all I have' affair..oh well ofcourse all my friends of life are here..but the one person I am needed to spend the most amount of time is   Strangely somebody I didn't ever acknowledge the existence of..ME..! anyway I have thus concluded that ME iq a nice person all in all..just a tad bit dramatic ..with all the drama constantly brewing up in Me's own mind..but then it's okay..I like her for that..also Me us trying to grow nails (see for you it's useless ..but for Me and me..it's a huge thing :p)
Lol..no I haven't gone bonkers..but then I have always been dramatic when it came to changes..and being thrown into a numb environment after all the warmth of Blue Bells and Miranda House..was a HUGE emotional setback..I swear I needed a friend like I never did..and since the only one who quite understood my 'drama' was my ownself ..I for a while had this weird sense of irritation at everything else..then it eventually got into me that I was a wannabe..'trying to fit in'..and the only one friend I thought I will stick to till I get over the hormonal turbulence was umm..to be fair over-burdened with the pomp I carry around..hence another lesson..2. People who care for you aren't 
Magicians ..give them a break..!
Anyway ..my bhabhi emerged out to be a HUGE support ..the one person I wanted to rush back to each day...I have fallen in love with her..and umm..guys.. I am just so proud of her that just the thought of her made me smile SO WIDE !
anyway my family touchwood is my life..and hence the storm gets it's peace the moment I think of them..and bhabhi is now a part of my special clan..
What next..oh yes..a lot of friends think I've been ignoring them..and weird is how I don't even feel like justifying my stand..it's like it somehow had become so numb on the emotional   Side that stuff had stopped disturbing..( the late night emotional outbursts continue..but then that's who I m ;) ) 
I do have grown fond of these two guys in class..and since acceptance has become something I don't even bother to look for now..I love the time I spend with them..like some moments actually feel warm enough to think about later..

It's weird cause hadn't talked to anybody for months now..'jobless' maybe my mind is..bit feels nice to let it out..I miss an integral part of who I am..what that part is..umm..I dunno..but I guess it is okay to live with a void..probably that is how life is for everybody else..maybe it all had come really late for me..maybe you are meant to live with boundaries..maybe you aren't meant to burden others with your thoughts..but I really don't think anybody's going to read this long an entry..and it feels really light to talk to nobody at all..oh yes..another lesson..3. Nobody has the time to decipher metaphors.. There never will be that one reader you've waited for so long..so you may for a while write and accept..your voice is meant to go unheard.. ;)

That girl in yellow boots.. (as i see it)

I wish I could tear off a piece of the emotional high I am experiencing right now and serve it in black on white , for maybe that is the only way I could justify the magic ‘That girl in yellow boots’ is and describe atleast a fraction of the spell it casted on me ..
Now before I begin with the review , please know this is my first ever review of someone’s work and I don’t really know how do we critique someone else’s brainchild.. so what follows is my critical appreciation of the movie I just watched and loved.. (you may skip it as it’ll be long boring and well.. it’ll be the entire story so ..yes *spoiler alert* :p)

We went for ‘That girl in yellow boots’ solely because there was no other movie in the time slot and we couldn’t bear watching salman thrust his pelvic or whatever weird bodypart he has to offer this time and hence we expected a torture as we entered the movie talking about who is re-funding the money wasted..
So loaded with our ammunition consisting of two veg salads, to non-veg salds and four large cold drinks .. Here we begin

The review :
This film is not from the parallel world of cinema and contrary to what most reviewers say..this film is not for a small section of the society for in the true sense of cinema this is what each one of us is and this movie is exactly about our life ..
The movie talks about a British national, Ruth, who has come to India in search of her father who left her mother and herself following the death of her 15 year old step-sister Emily who committed suicide following a pregnancy.
Ruth ends up in mumbai’s underbelly , working as a masseuse and giving people handshakes, happy endings or whatever you call rubbing a penis for 1000 rupees a favour. The reason for a british national to come all the way across the globe and take such desperate measures is a handwritten letter addressed to her by her father ‘Arjun Patel’ , the only thing to drive her search for her long lost father. The letter in turn is an apology from her father for leaving her family and also proclaims his love for her and how he longs to meet her once again. And hence, she leaves back her mother and elopes to India in search of her father someone who she believes loves her and is waiting for her ..’without conditions’
For she has a cocaine-addicted boyfriend who carries condoms around , lying on top of her every chance he gets , and when she pushes him away .. his honest question .. ‘so why do you want to meet me..to hold hands and look into your eyes’ … (personally makes me wonder if actually love is just a fancy name given to lust..?) . the boyfriend lands up in trouble with a south Indian goon, and the ‘protective boyfriend’ calls her a whore for serving every dick in the world is more than ready to take the same money to save his sorry ass ..and yet again when he is frustrated … the lover in him says.. “fuck me.. for what difference is it between me and your other clients.. make me feel special..for who am I in your life” … he is once again seen slapping her when she goes to serve a friend at the embassy in a desperate hope of meeting her father..

The guy(about 50-ish) from the embassy … calls her ‘love’ .. he is educated and holds position. And the first time you see him talk , you are sure of how nice a man he is , the reel rolls on and you realize he indeed is just a man, with a dick …who invites her over to dinner in exchange of helping her find her father.. you meet the elite of our society when they in their Armani whisper …”tell them your age..they’ll like it… how old are you.. 20..oh wonderful”

The average babu from embassy goes on for holidays to goa.. taking bribes for the same.. and when his body starts aching.. well he wants a handshake as well.. ..

The goon we talked about when we discussed Ruth’s boyfriend breaks into her house to recover the money her boyfriend had damaged .. he takes 57,000 cash..and well the rest kind.. he too wants a handshake.. and hence we meet the gangster..an average man with a dick..
The post master is played by one of my favourites ‘Makrand Deshpande’ and even with the 60 second role he’s worth a mention..cause’ well this is my blog and he’s my fav :D ..anyway here we come across the second most lusted for thing after flesh..’money’

Then we have another personal favourite ‘Naseeruddin Shah’ portraying the little good that human is, the good that is hard to find but the good that we sure hope does exist..for our sake.. for when he says you are magic and exits after saying ‘god bless you’ ,thanking her for being the reason for him keeping well..the little compliment brought a smile to my face.. what touched me more was his disappointment when he gets to know about the ‘handshakes’ , the right he believes and the trust he had instilled in a perfect stranger was my definition of a perfect human being.. my favourite lines by him .. “yes I have a right to speak about her life.. I have a right over everybody I love..everybody I care about’ and yes the magic ‘beta’ he says.. and even though adi had said he’s the father..i was secretly wishing for him to be the good guy throughout the movie.. :)

Also we have the mother , I imagine her as a woman who chose to be a victim and hence being the average woman with a society and a chaste tag.. the mother lost her daughter to a monster and still let him go, instead of punishing the maniac responsible for such a horrible deed , she maintained ‘dignity’ by keeping quiet and erasing him out of her and her second daughter’s life .. she wants the second daughter to be a ‘good girl’ stops her from clubbing, forces the ‘ideal woman tag’ on her second daughter.. which in my opinion highlights the mindset of the society.. for she lets go of the rascal who killed her own daughter and by setting up pre-set behaviour norms for her second girl she re-inforces the fact that she held her daughter ‘Emily’ responsible for getting pregnant.. for well it was her womb anyway.. what happened does not even matter..for was it a rape..for was she forced..or was the 15 year old influenced.. naah.. that does not matter.. what matters is she wasn’t a good girl ..she wasn’t chaste anymore.. and even if she did not think so.. not punishing the man responsible and instead forcing the second daughter into society based shackles somehow hints largely at who she thought was wrong and where she wanted corrections.. or maybe she indeed was broken at the hands of fate..maybe the mistrust had shattered her ..and maybe she wanted her second daughter to be as safe as she could be..for she had lost both her own faith and her child to the ‘man’ ..and hence she kept quiet about what happened with Emily for maybe the memories were to painful or maybe she was too broken to extract any revenge and wanted respect for her dead daughter and safety for her present child.. her disapproving abortion may have religious reasons and maybe she indeed had acceptance for Emily .. or maybe Emily felt the same unacceptance Ruth felt ..but I personally liked to believe Emily’s demise for which maybe she held herself responsible made the mother a protector out of desperation.

And of course..Ruth finds her father, she finds a lead from an ashram her father was a member of..where she was told he had changed his name from “Arjun Patel” to “Benjamin Patel” and had another name ‘Ojus’in the ashram..where he is described 'weird'.. the father was one of her clients shown staring at her bra strap and was a loyal ‘regular’ customer ..he had also been stalking her all the while and her all the days she desperately rubbed random strangers private parts he knew she was his daughter and infact would visit her to get his own happy ending.. he claims ‘loving’ Emily and now Ruth as well and his idea of love is fucking.. a role executed really nicely by a guy with horrible blond-ish hair , he is a pedophile and is a mentally unstable person.. the ending is somewhat like a light stinging drizzle after a storm of emotions.. and I wanted her to kill him .. I could actually feel Ruth’s disgust each time he said .. “it was your mother’s fault..but I loved Emily..i love you..”
Ruth’s character is a brilliant portrayal of raw human emotion, played ‘brilliantly’(excuse my vocabulary..or the lack of it :p) by ‘Kalki Koechalin’ ..
[I overheard a lady say..Anurag is obsessed with his wife..And also fleetingly read that Anurag has said he wont work with Kalki again..which I believe will be a loss for the Indian cinema..as nobody could have worked better than Kalki.. for somebody atleast is making sensible cinema and their team is like none other..it is a shame that people call this obsession but in my opinion nobody in our industry could have done justice with Ruth except for Kalki and Anurag..so screw you aunty..!]
Anyway Ruth’s character in my opinion is essayed so beautifully and yet can be summarized by a simple statement when she says (to her boyfriend) … “ my mother wants me to be a saint .. you want to fuck me.. the client want their happy endings.. but what about me.. even I need somebody who loves me unconditionally ..somebody who listens to me..”
She describes her father as someone who loved her step-sister and as a five yeard old she always wanted the same love..so much so that she wished her elder sibling dead.. Innocent human mind’s desperation for love and acceptance surfaces and when she says her sister would keep Ruth’s hand on her belly and cry and eventually committed suicide , you can feel the fear in her heart ..for sex for her is more than carnal desires…it is the reason she lost her sister when she was only five..when she did not even know what lust was..
People may dismiss her as a whore for serving other people’s lust , and yet when you look her trying to talk to her boyfriend or her clients as she served them… you feel for her simple need of somebody who listens.. a scene initially shows her trying to talk to a client as she served him..when he says not trying to be rude..but can you please keep quiet..and though you dismiss the scene as just another man and his dick..you later are told the same man is her father …and you realize how much we’ve accepted on the name of ‘men will be men’ ..and how low have we stooped..
We see her meeting men from various strata’s of the society.. and yet we see them all lying naked in front of her..sometimes we see her braving the situation with wit..sometimes we her helplessly giving into the situation.. we see her serving stranger’s lust ..we see her fighting her own lover’s lust.. we see her realizing she lost her family to lust..and yet we see her fighting back.. and we see it all raw and real..
____________________________________________________________________________________

Amazing how strong the character was..and amazing how many questions it has left in my mind.. almost like a part of me has gone numb inside… this movie is the most beautiful piece of art I’ve ever seen..maybe this movie stripped off all my fears and brought them to surface.


I cross my heart and thank god for the life he has given me.. for I am scared to think further.. too scared of the world.. and it’s honest ways..

The Walls..

The walls are closing in..
and I promise I am not exaggerating but I am too big for this room ..

I am tired of being a fool.. somebody’s regret..someone else’s charity..
And the walls are closer than they ever were..

I am scared.. the roughness of the bricks scratching my skin..
And I wonder how can I cry and be so happy within..

How can it be so easy for you..
to say you wish the part of me in your life was erased forever
can you not see ..the walls are closing in.. ?

I am not a lover.. a dreamer in past
I do not know why I hurt ..And I am tired of being forgiven…
Can you not see.. the walls are closing in..?

Why am I supposed to justify the hurt..
Why am I a sour loser..
I have tears and they wont rest till they burst..
And you say there are no walls around me..

I am no chaste priest..and I am no whore..
I am just me..searching an identity..
So why do I see a ruined paradise..
The you say the walls were built by me..

Of whoever I had..and whoever I’ve trusted..
Is in number here..right beside me..
But where is the love… I would so boast about..
And you say there are no walls that you can see..

Hey.. wait.. listen to the silence..
The silence that surrounds my being..
The lining of sands..on the seas unseen..
Can you see the walls ..right where ..they’ve always been…

Of self-doubt was my poison ..
I’d happily inject..
And self-loathe was my den to subsist in..
And now that you’ve made up this plastic cocoon..
Can you please..somehow see the walls killing me..

the setting sun..

It is a long walk ahead..
The mirrors dusty..and I cannot see..
For it is a long walk ahead..
And I already wish to give up..

I had many eyes when I had first painted the horizon..
I lost a few.. some I had shut tight ..

My hands are a little weak now..
Whatever I once held.. on the floor..
Broken.. I am not sure..
Beyond reach.. maybe..

So I hold on to everything I can feel around me..
And hence I fall flat on the face..
I re-visit the old yellow pages..
Nobody picks up the call..nobody is listening..

Probably the last call was wasted on a useless smile..
Probably the last few tears shed on a vain laugh..

Of what had always been there..
What was always supposed to stay..
Is no longer in sight..
Somehow slipped off..all this while held tight..
it isn’t a material missing off the shelf..
not a person less in the book..
it is just the self we're supposed to love the most…
it is just the setting sun..

wishlist #1 .. :)

I WISH TO….!!

1. Tell the complete truth to my loved ones.. hate lying about some specific stuff x-(

2. Complete my secret wish… :D … *THE UNMENTIONABLE INDEED*

3. Steal something from a mall kee shop.. even if a chotu sa eraser..BUT I HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN .. [-(

4. Own a pretty white gown.. the worlds most beautiful wedding gown.. and loads of vintage gowns..

5. ABUSE the hellish people (read fake relatives) I hate so much x-(

6. Meet a few friends .. specific few friends.. and sort the mess x-/

7. Loose the specific few fears.. *_*

8. Stop caring about random shit.. and poopsters.. :-&

9. Go on a long random drive with a friend.. sleep in the car at nights.. go to random roadside ruins and click pics.. eat from the roadside farm shacks.. spend maybe weeks like this ( a lot like love..elongated..and sans the sex -_- )

10. Go on a nation wide tour alone..(maybe a friend..if they plead well enough :-/) ..and travel light..

Umm… that’ll be all for now.. :D .. more coming soon :D .. ummmmmmmm… what do you wish for ……………….. :-) ……………. !!

Understand..

It rains slowly in my mind,
Drizzling softly on the window pane.
The world is a lot slower as I blink,
Nothing inside me feels the same.

There are thoughts and dreams and wishes in my mind,
Treasured preciously in the memory lane.
The world is so much better as I think,
Pain and sorrow are never the same.

The images all pretty in my mind,
The sounds of ocean in each grain.
The world of magic connects missing every link,
A lonely heart does not stay the same.

And as I step on the sands of time..
My footprints are erased as they form..
The real of the unreal haunts me now..
The stranger winds carry me away from home..

The voices in my head they shout and scream..
The voices without now speak..
The silence in my heart is unheard somehow..
The silence desperately now shrieks..

And I talk in black..
And I write in red…
Of death and decay and loss..
For all I want is a place somehow..
And a heart which sees the unseen…

And yes I will rip and slay your flesh..
Those who say you’re near..
Cause I am torn inside ..
Lost in a storm ..
Each stinging tear to tear.

And so I am quiet..
Hush.. now dead..
And you won’t ever know what I didn’t speak..
The silence of the veiled heart..
The silence lost somewhere amidst the shriek..

There is a world inside my mind..
Where I am numb..and I am dead..
The world haunts me sometimes..
And you don’t have to understand..